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The Unobtainable Crush Community

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You'll never see this [Nov. 26th, 2007|03:05 am]
The Unobtainable Crush Community
[mood |sadsad]
[music |You Can't Hurry Love : Diana Ross]

Dear Allie,

You'll never see this, I'm sure. It's been almost five months to the day since you ended our friendship (according to my facebook inbox).
I still think about you all the time. I still think about things that we did, I remember our inside jokes. It's so pathetic.
I sent you a note on facebook, asking if we could be friends again... I don't think you'll respond.

But how could we ever be friends again? After how it all went down... How can you pick up the pieces from that?
I miss you so much...

But what about you? I never realized that you were so upset. How on earth could I make it all up to you?

Would a new friendship between us just be walking on eggshells until neither of us could stand it any longer, and we just drifted apart, again?

Maybe that's why I messaged you. I just feel so AHHH. I don't know. You and Renee ditching me at the same time, going through all that stuff with my dad and brothers... I felt like the world was plotting against me. Irrational, maybe, but that's how it was.
I feel like, just once, just ONCE, I need to end a relationship with someone on MY terms.

I always feel like the bad guy, the villian, the loser, the bitch. Maybe that's why I always try to come off as an innocent victim, because I feel so much the opposite all the time.

...Am I doing it now?


Here are some updates:

David has a girlfriend named Jessica
Chris Sharrett is moving in with Josh and I
I'm getting weight loss surgery soon
I'm seeing a real therapist now
Josh turned 21 in October
I got a job at Borders
I quit my job at Borders
I now have a pet goldfish, named Fish
I dyed my hair red
I dyed it dark brown
Josh and I bought a new car. A red Toyota Yaris.
I still hardly ever talk to my dad, but my brothers and I are getting along better.
After my surgery, I'm starting at Montgomery College
Then applying to Georgetown University
Mr. Rees owns a bong

That's about it.


Miss you.